Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Free Cat - To a Fairly Good Home

Meet Oscar, an adorable black tuxedo cat that needs a new home. Oscar had been dropped in our neighborhood as a kitten several years ago, I finally came to his rescue one afternoon when a gang of teenage boys decided to dunk him repeatedly in a bucket of water. He is a superior snaker, his abilities to catch and kill snakes is second to none. He’s also very qualified at lizard annihilation and occasionally murders baby bunnies. If snakes are threatening to overrun your home, then why don’t you come meet him and see if your PURR-sonalities complement one another?

Oscar would be perfect for your home if you don’t mind a cat that loses HIS EVER LOVIN’ MIND if the pet door is closed. We’re talking FLIPS out. If a full night’s sleep is not a priority and you don’t mind if he RAKES at the wood blinds on the French doors in the bedroom to be let out, and, then, turns around within an HOUR OR SO to SCRATCH WITH HIS CLAWS ON THE GLASS JUST LIKE NAILS ON A BLACKBOARD to come back in then he’s the perfect cat for you! We’ll even chip in on his annual vaccinations in perpetuity.

His snake record is something else! Just last year alone he brought SEVEN into the house! The summer before his record was SIX. We cannot WAIT to see what this summer holds for us!!! And he’s blind in one eye!! Just think what he could do with two!!

Also, he’s TOUGH, really TOUGH. Three years ago Oscar played chicken with a car and lost – BIG TIME. And I want it in writing, in black in white, on the world wide web,(thanks Al). It was DANNY’S idea, not mine, NOT to put him to sleep that day at the Emergency Vet. I TRIED. But, NO, Danny said “Let’s give him some time”. So what did we do? We waited 48 hours, he pulled through, then we were $1,200 POORER (yes, you read that right) and NOW WE ARE BEING HELD HOSTAGE!

Oh sorry, what was I saying…Oscar would be perfect for you!! He’s sweet, affectionate, doesn’t eat much, he’s cute to look at, you don’t really notice that only one eye works, And he’s an expensive cat – you could brag to your friends about what a good deal you got on him! Remember, he catches snakes, LOTS OF SNAKES!!

Just give me a call and I'll bring him right over. But if Rea happens to answer the phone - act dumb.


Terry said...

Sounds irresistable! I'm sure your inbox will be overflowing with messages from takers stumbling over themselves to be the first to reply! Personally, I'm impressed by a cat (like my Simba) who catches birds, brings them into the house, then lets them loose. Now that's entertainment!

Nelson's Mama said...

Well, Oscar brings his snakes in live too! Let me tell you, I'd rather have birds - and he does that from time to time.