But it's not for lack of effort.
Yesterday afternoon I heard a rustling in the attic that sounded like a whole herd of squirrels gone mad and not long afterward, Danny came dragging the Christmas tree down the steps. So, apparently we were going to put up the tree...
Now, this is the expensive Pre-lit tree that I bought year before last, that I just knew was going to solve all of my Christmas decorating issues, but didn't pull out last year because I'd just had hip surgery. Last year we stuck up a little skinny tree and I hobbled to Wal-Mart(s) and bought just enough decorations and lights for it. Chelsy came and helped me (actually I pretty much watched) decorate it and I provided the wine.
Forgive my digression; back to this Christmas, once the Pre-lit tree was assembled, it no longer LIT. AS in BLACK. NADA. NOTHING. DEADER THAN A DOOR NAIL. None of Danny’s tricks worked, he changed fuses, wiggled bulbs, he exhausted all of his efforts to make this pre-lit tree LIGHT UP, but it won’t.
So, we thought the smart thing to do will be take the lights off of it. We both got a pair of wire cutters and started to work. Should be fairly simple – right?
Oh, my friends, how wrong we were. It took us TWO AND A HALF HOURS to remove the lights from the Pre-lit tree. Those people in China or Taiwan or wherever were very serious about their task of tree lighting. By the end of this job, Danny had a blister, both of our hands were cramping, our arms were raw and we had decided that we would probably rather sucker tobacco than remove lights from Pre-lit Christmas trees.
We now have a tree up, it is unlit and undecorated; we ran out of time because of Lessons and Carols at church last night. I’ll be working on it today, adding nearly $50 worth of lights that Syd went after, to our Un-lit Pre-Lit Tree.
Oh the Joy of the Season.