New transportation?

Danny has decided that he wants to sell our golf cart and buy a Vespa. I think they get close to 50 miles per gallon and they look really snappy and all European; I’m just not convinced that I want to run errands in my Southern town on a Moped.

Sure, I know that all those celebrities have their Vespas and look all cute and stuff (like Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos), but I’m just having a hard time imaging myself with my Wal-Mart bags strapped on the back. I could take Rea to school and back, it's only a mile and a half or so, it would save a lot of money. But I KNOW, that Syd would not cotton to accepting a lift from me on my scooter, that would not be COOL.

Nelson and Shelley would really miss their golf cart rides. While you can probably purchase baskets for Vespas and I could buy Nelson some goggles and a scarf a la the Red Baron (he would probably like it), I’m thinking that Shelley wouldn’t like the Vespa AT ALL. Where would she ride? She’s a Sheltie and they are a small breed, but let’s just say that she’s not a delicate little dog anymore, she’s more on the “plus” side. I’m afraid she might drag the roadway!

AND what if I needed to take a cat to the vet? Whew, can you just imagine! Vivi is just a little on the high-strung side, so putting her in a cat carrier and strapping her on the seat of a Vespa with some tie down straps might just set her ON edge. I’m thinking they might have to shoot her through the bars with one of those tranquilizer guns once we cruised on in the parking lot, otherwise someone might just lose a digit.

But lastly, I’m wondering about old Dano. I’m sure he would want to use the Vespa on nice afternoons to go to the skeet range. He has this new, great, BIG bag that he carries to the range; I call it his Skeet Purse. I think it’s a little like Mary Poppins bag for shooters – you just never know what might be in it. I just don’t see how it would fit on a Vespa, it’s too big for the saddle bags and it would practically take up as much room as a passenger on the back. I even think it could interfere with his balance...

But most my important question is this: Where do you carry your shotgun on a Vespa? Strap it on your back? Holster thingy on the side? Across your lap? How do you explain said firearm to law enforcement?

What to do, what do do….