Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Growing up is brutal - especially for Mom

I had a friend in Nashville who described her high school years as hell – so bad for both she and her Mom that each afternoon they went shopping for a new outfit for her to wear just so she could face the new school day. She was beautiful, smart and charming and I just couldn't fathom how someone like her could have struggled so with her peers.

While my middle school and high school years weren't always smooth sailing; I don't recall them as one of the hardest seasons of my life. During that time, I forged a few lasting relationships with people whose friendship I value above all others. Those days were not perfect and had their share of ups and downs – which are inherent while kids are learning to navigate their way through life.

Those ups and downs don't hold a candle to what my girls endure today – and I'm totally feeling my friend's mom's pain and could jump on that shopping band wagon to soothe myself and possibly gloss over some of the hurts Syd and Rea get handed each and every day. My girls are not always innocent parties in the daily kerfuffle's that go down – but during my school days, I always knew who had my back, and who didn't, loyal friends that I could trust in the trenches of war; no matter what.

But, things don't seem to work that way now; expectations for loyalty only seem to apply to dogs.

I never expected my girls to always be on the outside looking in – excluded for being who they are; not accepted for being unique, beautiful, funny and different in her own way.


8 comments:

one crafty mama said...

I wish Syd and Chel were friends. I think they would be perfect pals. She has those issues a lot, too. As for Rea, unless she wants to be friends with Will, can't help ya at that age. But I must say, when I was in high school, all my best pals were BOYS-they don't judge you or make fun of you or talk about you behind your back! And as Mamas, we do have the right to seek revenge on the little shits who cause our beloveds pain;)

Kelly said...

I've been through the highschool drama....and that's what it is on a daily basis. It's killer when you see it happen to your own. Frankly I can't imagine many girls who haven't experienced being on the outside looking in at some point.

Nelson's Mama said...

Kelly,

You are absolutely right - I can remember feeling that way sometimes too.

But, when I referred to those lasting relationships you were one of the people I was talking about and here you are commenting - over thirty years later.

rhondagr said...

Girls are mean...that is all there is to it. One of Allison's best friends is a boy...she said she can tell him things and know that he will not go a repeat them...

Nelson's Mama said...

Why must they be so cruel to one another? Isn't life tough enough?

You, my friend, are not mean. I would trust you with my life.

Kelly said...

Over 30 years...wow. How cool is that?

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

The Incredible Woody said...

I don't understand why kids (especially the girls) are so mean to each other these days. We had bullies, etc back in the day. But things have just seemed to step up several notches on the mean scale.

My heart breaks for my niece. She is in 7th grade and battles with her weight. I cannot imagine how terrible school can be for her.