Showing posts with label Danny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Danny. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Our Maytag Man ain't lonesome...


Neptune has been bitching about SUDS sporadically for three weeks - I blamed it on Danny at first. You know how it goes; he decided to wash his annual load of clothes and didn't know how much detergent to add, so I figured he had put too much in there for Neptune to digest and perhaps he was feeling a little full or bloated. But he just kept ON and ON about the SUDS. This time he would finish washing his load, would then play his little song and then tell me that he had ENDed and then say SUDS! Just exactly is THAT supposed to mean Neptune?

And then, on Christmas Eve, as we were packing up the entire contents of our house into two vehicles to go out of town, I was desperately trying to finish up some laundry. Neptune took it upon himself to tell me that he was finished with a load of towels, but that there were SUDS (well, excuse me). I noticed when I took them out that they were heavier than usual, but didn't realize that Neptune had left them so wet that it took them THREE HOURS TO DRY!

Today Maytag Man took Neptune's innards apart once again (we are closing in on twenty times), and there, lurking inside was two battered quarters. I know it would be a really good idea for SOMEBODY to check the pockets of the jeans before they put them in the washer, but SOMEBODY always forgets to do that. And the most regrettable thing about this situation for Maytag Man is that he never, ever leaves his change in his pockets. Ummm...Somebody else does.

Neptune must now have new innards – they are pretty much shot, all of the quarters, nickels and pennies have chewed them up. Maytag Man and I can't remember if this will be the second or third innards for Neptune, we just know that if Neptune were a horse we would have shot him by now.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Danny had warned me that Fed-Ex was bringing another box...

I feel like that I’m pretty prepared now for most anything. The boxes of buckshot in the mailbox that outweigh a small child; then the ten pounds of gunpowder on the front porch at the height of the summer heat was pretty good.

I am convinced that he is paying the UPS man under the table because even he tries to hide Danny’s packages from me…if the garage door is open he slips into the garage and puts the new reloading supplies right by the re-loader.

But, today. Oh, internets, today takes the cake. Who do you know that receives a stuffed bird from Fed-Ex? My bet is NO ONE.
And his only response to me…don’t let the cats get it....